Monday, January 19, 2009

slight alterations

I believe I’ve changed. Just praying tonight and thinking about what I’m going to do tomorrow with two ladies at my disposal to take care of my kids, I realize that I’m not who I once was.

The before Sara—the before I had Landon Sara
I read the book Organizing inside and out—something like that. “It changed my life.” I had declared. And so it had. Before Landon came, I had organized every drawer, every shelf, every room to be super organized.
Each day started with a list. I checked things off. The list grew, but at the end of the day, accomplishment meant most of the list was crossed off.
I thought that exercising and feeling good about myself were the most important things. Yeah, I took care of Hayden. I was a good mom. However, putting on make up had it’s order in my line up of things to do. Not much was out of place.
I worked out twice a week. I pushed myself, even though I was pregnant. I was at the gym the day before I had Landon.
Accomplishment meant having a clean house every minute of the day and dinner on the table ready when Serge got home. On a shlumpy day, he had to wait.

The after Landon Sara
Some days I get make up on. Most days I don’t worry about it unless I have an appointment
Success to me is spending quality time with both of my boys, making sure medications is given at the right time and letting my husband know I appreciate him. That’s a really good day.
I don’t have dinner ready. In fact, most of the time Serge cooks when he gets home after a long day at work and school. I don’t like that, but it’s a reality.
My house is in constant need of a good shine. My carpet looks and feels gross. My kitchen floor is dirty the day after I mop it—which is about once a month now. I feel such an accomplishment when my kitchen table is cleaned off.
I haven’t worked out in months and I don’t really feel bad about it. I have gained some weight, but my husband still loves me and thinks I’m hot.
I stay up after everyone is in bed so that I can still feel like myself. I read books as often as I can. It’s wonderful exploring someone else’s world.
I usually have to get up with one of my boys a few times each night. That or Landon’s feeding pump is beeping at me in my dreams—then I wake up to discover it’s for real. The longest stretch of sleep that I get is from 11pm to 5 am. I consider that great! Then I can go back to sleep until 6(give medication and stop feed) and then back to sleep until around 7(Landon wakes up). That’s close to eight hours right?

The after Landon Sara may seem a little dreary, but in all actuality, it’s been such a good road. I think I have realized a little bit more that life is not always organized down to the T. Some women can do that and it makes them happy. However, when I try to do that now-a-days, it makes my whole household sad, uptight and whiney. It’s not worth it to me. I don’t live in a pigsty, but it’s not perfect—and we’re really happy.
I still love shopping, but I do it at second hand stores, garage sales and thrift stores. I love having people give us clothes they are done with. I love the saying, “use if up, wear it out. Make it do, or do without.” At least I think that’s how it goes.
So tomorrow when I have two women at my disposal, to take care of my kids, I’m not going to have a list of one million things to do. I’ll probably pick two meaningful things to do with my kids and then I’m just going to enjoy the day. Yeah, I know to some of you it may sound like a waste. But it’s how I WANT to spend my day—that makes all the difference.


Rachel said...

I love being in your home. It feels HAPPY.

AJ said...

I love your outlook on life and how you take it all in stride. You are an amazing example to me and I sure love yoU!

Tammie said...

Amen Sister AMEN! You are one SMART cookie! Thank for the great reminder and your wonderful example!